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Blog

Is Overthinking Making You Anxious?

by Dr. Sarah Allen
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Do you find yourself reading too much into situations or spending too much time trying to make decisions? You are likely overthinking things and it is probably not helpful to your emotional well-being.

Here are 4 signs that suggest you overthink things:

  1. You Ruminate

A clear sign you are overthinking is that you spend a lot of time ruminating (going over and over the same thing in your head) about things that have happened in the past. You pick over situations and conversations in your brain that could have happened last night or perhaps several years ago, and yet you are still thinking about it. It is exhausting. You are wasting your emotional energy thinking about it and it can leave you feeling physically and emotionally drained

Ask yourself is there actually anything you can do about it now. Can you go to the person and ask them why they did what they did or can you say to the person now what you wish you had said then? When I ask my ruminating clients these questions they usually laugh and say no, it’s too long ago or they would think I am being silly.

If you don’t want to or can’t change anything about it then you have to accept whatever it is you are overthinking is in the past, you can learn from it if a similar situation comes up again and but you can’t change it so let it go! Try to focus on something you can change instead.

 

  1. You’re Not Emotionally Present Around Others

Overthinking things can lead to you spending a lot of time in your head, which means you’re not completely emotionally present when you are around others. If you are focusing on your thoughts rather than the person in front of you, it can make them feel that you are not interested in them or what they are saying to you, which of course can be detrimental to the relationship.

Try to catch yourself if you are doing that and instead ground yourself by really focusing on the person you are with or your surroundings. Bring your attention to how your feet feel strong as they press into the ground, focus on actually listening to what the person is saying, notice what other sounds or things you can see in the room. Bringing your focus back into your body, the environment you are in and the person you are with gets your out of your head therefore making you more present.

 

  1. You Don’t Sleep Well

Another sign that you are an overthinker is that you are sleep deprived because your ruminations are stopping you falling asleep or are waking you up in the middle of the night. When you are overtired you become more emotional, anger more easily and have less focus and concentration which can hurt your functioning and relationships in real life, not the imaginary life of your thoughts.

You can overcome this by setting aside a time each evening that you sit down and write out the things you are thinking about. This can clear your head for when you are trying to sleep.

 

  1. You Let Your Anxiety Hold You Back

You really know that overthinking is holding you back when anxiety prevents you from doing things or moving forward in your life. Usually this involves thoughts about “What if?” and then thoughts about all the things that could possibly go wrong.

In cognitive therapy we call this type of negative thought pattern ‘catastrophizing’. You go to all sorts of worse- case scenario and that can make you very stuck and scared. I always think a good way to challenge this is to ask yourself “What is the worst thing that can happen?”. Catastrophizing thoughts are attached to very strong emotions as fear whips up our adrenaline system. However, if you breathe (to calm down the adrenaline) you can rationally challenge your thoughts and find that the worse things probably isn’t nearly as bad as your emotions suggest and that you could cope with them.

To overcome this pattern, take a problem-solving approach. Identify what is holding you back and what small steps you can take to overcome the problem. Rather than just going around and around thinking about it, take action in a way that is not too much outside of your comfort zone.

 

When clients first come in to see me, the main concerns that come up again and again are:

  1. How can I feel less stressed, angry and overwhelmed?

  2. What should I do if I feel panicky?

  3. How can I stop worrying about everything: my children, partner, friends, work, my “to do” list….

SIMPLE STEPS TO OVERCOME ANXIETY & WORRYING ebook

So I put together a booklet with some strategies I am always giving to my clients to help them begin to feel less anxiety and to worry less.

I hope that you will find it helpful too.

Add your first name and email address in the box below and you will be sent the steps to download your FREE book.

You've just been sent an email that contains a confirmation link. Check your SPAM/JUNK folder if you don't see it within a couple of minutes. In order to activate to receive your free booklet, click on the CONFIRM link and you will be sent a second email with the booklet. It may also be in your SPAM folder.

I see clients in my Northbrook office or for your convenience, via telephone or internet sessions

If you have any questions about how to reduce anxiety

please phone me at 847 791-7722 or

email me below

    Dr. Allen's professional license only allows her to work with clients who live in IL & FL and unfortunately does not allow her to give personalized advice via email to people who are not her clients.

    Beach Waves Mini Meditation Helps Reduce Stress

    by Dr. Sarah Allen
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    Do you like being by the sea? I do and find it very relaxing to watch the waves coming in to the shore and out again. Many years ago a colleague of mine who had studied self-hypnosis taught me this simple beach mini meditation and I found it so useful that I have been telling it to my clients ever since.

    Whether you are feeling revved up because you are getting irritated or overwhelmed because you have too much going on around you and you need to take a little mental time out, this self-hypnosis technique can quickly nix the adrenaline that is flooding your body and making your thoughts race.

    It can also help calm down feelings of anxiety if you do it before you go into a stressful situation such as a test, interview, when public speaking or undergoing a dentist or medical procedure.

    Some of my clients wake up in the morning feeling anxious and this meditation is a great way to calm down the adrenaline rush and start the day feeling calm.

    Basically, it is helpful for any situation that is causing you to feel anxious, overwhelmed or stressed.

    So How Do I Do The Waves Mini Meditation?

    Close your eyes and imagine that there is a movie screen in your head, just behind your eyes. Picture yourself on that screen standing on a beach looking out at the water, your toes in the warm sand and the sunshine on your back.

    You can picture a real beach that you loved visiting in the past or one that you conjure up from your imagination. It doesn’t really matter as long as it is a place you are feeling warm and relaxed in.

    Now see yourself standing or sitting on the shore and you are watch the waves coming in towards you and out again. The froth of the wave crests then falls as it rolls into the sand.

    Starting at 10 and counting backwards, count the rolls of the waves, breathing in slowly through your nose as the wave crests, and then slowly out of your mouth as the wave rolls back out and disappears.

    10 – you breathe in slowly as the wave comes towards you and out as it rolls back to sea.

    Now do the same counting 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 with each number you breathe in as the wave comes in, breathe out as it rolls back to sea.

    By the time you have counted backwards from 10 to 1 you will feel very relaxed.

     

    So Why Does This Meditation Work?

    By focusing on a relaxing picture in your head you block out the thoughts that were causing you to feel stressed, overwhelmed or irritated. The slow rhythmic breathing as you count the waves in and out cuts down the adrenaline that is fueling your stress.

    Practice this when you are alone with your eyes shut and soon you can do it by picturing the waves in your mind with your eyes open. This is very useful when you are in a situation that you are finding stressful but cannot leave. Just picture the waves inside your mind’s eye and breathe!

     

    To find out more about coping with anxiety and worrying  download my free booklet Simple Steps To Overcome Anxiety & Worrying  use the sign up form below the book.

    When clients first come in to see me, the main concerns that come up again and again are:

    1. How can I feel less stressed, angry and overwhelmed?
    2. What should I do if I feel panicky?
    3. How can I stop worrying about everything: my children, partner, friends, work, my “to do” list….

    So I put together a booklet with some strategies I am always giving to my clients to help them begin to feel less anxiety and to worry less.

    I hope that you will find it helpful too.

    Add your first name and email address in the box below and you will be sent the steps to download your FREE book.

    You've just been sent an email that contains a confirmation link. Check your SPAM/JUNK folder if you don't see it within a couple of minutes. In order to activate to receive your free booklet, click on the CONFIRM link and you will be sent a second email with the booklet. It may also be in your SPAM folder.

    If after reading my blog posts or booklet you feel ready to start working on reducing your anxiety but need support, I can help you overcome worrying in one-on-one individual counseling sessions.

    In a supportive environment with a therapist who has over 20 years experience you can learn how to reduce worrying by:

    • Learning a variety of relaxation and breathing strategies which can help you reduce your overall levels of stress and help you face anxiety-provoking situations.
    • Explore why you are experiencing anxiety as well as learning how to distinguish between worries that require your attention and worries that are unnecessary.
    • Learning skills to manage anxious thoughts and to tackle fears that may have been holding you back.While all your worries won’t disappear, you will be given strategies to manage them better and tools to reduce the impact they have on your life.

    If you feel anxiety is standing in the way of you leading the life you want to, call me on 847 791-7722 or via the email form below.

      Dr. Allen's professional license only allows her to work with clients who live in IL & FL and unfortunately does not allow her to give personalized advice via email to people who are not her clients.

      Need A Simple Way To Keep Calm?

      by Dr. Sarah Allen

        Read more about how remote counseling works Dr. Allen Telephone & Video Sessions   How To Hang In There When You Are About To Unravel! We would all of course like to be cool, calm and collected at all times. Chaos surrounds us yet we remain serene and unflappable… So here’s the reality. Things […]

      Read the full article →

      When Your Baby’s Cry Causes You Anxiety

      by Dr. Sarah Allen

        In response to COVID-19 concerns, I am currently offering remote appointments so I can still be there for you. Read more about how remote counseling works Dr. Allen Telephone & Video Sessions   Does your baby’s cry stir up feelings of anxiety and panic within you? You are not alone! Having a baby changes […]

      Read the full article →

      Sleep – Why It’s Important & How To Get It!

      by Dr. Sarah Allen

      What is one of the most important things that affects our quality of life? Sleep! A good night’s sleep helps us think more clearly, be more productive and manage our mood better, especially our reactive emotions. This in turn make us feel good about what we have achieved and of course positively effects our relationships. […]

      Read the full article →

      Anxiety, The Brain & CBT

      by Dr. Sarah Allen

      Anxiety, The Brain & Cognitive Therapy (CBT) Did you know that the human brain is composed of approximately 100 billion neurons? Until recently we thought that the brain is fully developed (and therefore unchangeable) by the end of childhood and once you became an adult it was pretty much downhill for the brain. Neuroplasticity and […]

      Read the full article →

      When Your Childbirth Experience Wasn’t What You Hoped For

      by Dr. Sarah Allen

      I think all pregnant women spend time imagining what their labor experience will be like. For first time moms, it feels a bit abstract because it will be unlike any other experience you have had before. Expectations can be based on stories from other people or perhaps movies or social media but I think there […]

      Read the full article →

      Birth Trauma – More Common Than You Think!

      by Dr. Sarah Allen

        We women in the West expect our childbirth experiences to be joyful, fulfilling, a little painful perhaps, but worth it because of the bundle of joy we get at the end. For many women, giving birth is a happy, or at least a straight-forward experience, but not for everyone. New Mothers Speak Out, a […]

      Read the full article →

      6 Tips For Coping After A Miscarriage

      by Dr. Sarah Allen

      I expect you are reading this article because you, or a person close to you, has experienced a miscarriage or still birth.  When you lose a baby, at whatever stage of development it was at, it can be totally devastating and it is normal to feel a mix of overwhelming emotions such as shock, numbness, […]

      Read the full article →

      Are You At Risk For Postpartum Anxiety Or Depression? Take The Quiz

      by Dr. Sarah Allen

        Up to 20% of pregnant and new moms experience depression or anxiety. Yes, it’s that common! No one can say for definite that having specific stresses or experiences in your life, or perhaps having certain personality traits, causes postpartum anxiety or depression but we do know that there are quite a few factors that […]

      Read the full article →
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      Anxiety

    • Download This Free Booklet

      SIMPLE STEPS TO OVERCOME ANXIETY & WORRYING EBOOK

    • Please Enter Your Email To Download This Booklet

      You've just been sent an email that contains a confirmation link. Check your SPAM/JUNK folder if you don't see it within a couple of minutes. In order to activate to receive your free booklet, click on the CONFIRM link and you will be sent a second email with the booklet. It may also be in your SPAM folder.

    • Testimonials

      When I need to refer any of my patients for talk therapy I immediately think of Dr. Allen as she is wonderful at helping people with severe and complex issues really get to the root of their problems. She is very caring and knowledgeable and I have found her extensive experience really helps people to change their lives for the better.

      Dr. Teresa PoprawskiPsychiatrist, First Chicago Neuroscience Clinic

      Last year I was so crippled by anxiety and panic attacks and I didn’t believe that anything or anyone would be able to help me. Since seeing you my life has changed forever and I am finally turning into the person that I always wanted to be…and the person I never thought I could be. You will be the person I call if I start to feel that way again.

      Wendy T.

      I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t a worrier and when my doctor suggested therapy instead of an antidepressant I didn’t think it could really help. I was totally wrong. I don’t spend so much time worrying about the “what ifs” now and concentrate on working on things that are in my control to change in the “here and now” rather than in the past or future. I spend much less time in my head worrying about everything and now have useful strategies to deal with many situations at home and at work. Life is much less stressful and I find myself teaching people I manage at work the strategies Dr. Allen taught me.

      Mark B.

      When I started seeing Dr. Allen for therapy I felt so overwhelmed and trapped in daily battles with my three children. Thank you so much for all your help. It has really helped me gain a better perspective. I am now a role model for my children and help them worry less about things by teaching them the tools you taught me.

      Margaret R.

      When I started seeing you for therapy I felt so overwhelmed and trapped in daily battles with my three children. Thank you so much for all your help. It has really helped me gain a better perspective. I am now a role model for my children and help them worry less about things by teaching them the tools you taught me.

      Margaret R.
    • Recent Posts

      • 6 Ways To Reduce Stress and Stop Worrying!
      • Oprah Magazine Interview About Stress Management
      • Remote Therapy Appointments Available
      • 5 Best Anxiety Treatment Blog Posts
      • 7 Simple Grounding Techniques For Calming Down Quickly
      • Woman’s World Magazine America’s Ultimate Experts Article
      • Is Overthinking Making You Anxious?
      • Beach Waves Mini Meditation Helps Reduce Stress
      • Need A Simple Way To Keep Calm?
      • Sleep – Why It’s Important & How To Get It!
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