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Do you find yourself reading too much into situations or spending too much time trying to make decisions? You are likely overthinking things and it is probably not helpful to your emotional well-being.

Here are 4 signs that suggest you overthink things:

1. You Ruminate

A clear sign you are overthinking is that you spend a lot of time ruminating (going over and over the same thing in your head) about things that have happened in the past. You pick over situations and conversations in your brain that could have happened last night or perhaps several years ago, and yet you are still thinking about it. It is exhausting. You are wasting your emotional energy thinking about it and it can leave you feeling physically and emotionally drained

Ask yourself is there actually anything you can do about it now. Can you go to the person and ask them why they did what they did or can you say to the person now what you wish you had said then? When I ask my ruminating clients these questions they usually laugh and say no, it’s too long ago or they would think I am being silly.

If you don’t want to or can’t change anything about it then you have to accept whatever it is you are overthinking is in the past, you can learn from it if a similar situation comes up again and but you can’t change it so let it go! Try to focus on something you can change instead.

 

2. You’re Not Emotionally Present Around Others

Overthinking things can lead to you spending a lot of time in your head, which means you’re not completely emotionally present when you are around others. If you are focusing on your thoughts rather than the person in front of you, it can make them feel that you are not interested in them or what they are saying to you, which of course can be detrimental to the relationship.

Try to catch yourself if you are doing that and instead ground yourself by really focusing on the person you are with or your surroundings. Bring your attention to how your feet feel strong as they press into the ground, focus on actually listening to what the person is saying, notice what other sounds or things you can see in the room. Bringing your focus back into your body, the environment you are in and the person you are with gets your out of your head therefore making you more present.

 

3. You Don’t Sleep Well

Another sign that you are an overthinker is that you are sleep deprived because your ruminations are stopping you falling asleep or are waking you up in the middle of the night. When you are overtired you become more emotional, anger more easily and have less focus and concentration which can hurt your functioning and relationships in real life, not the imaginary life of your thoughts.

You can overcome this by setting aside a time each evening that you sit down and write out the things you are thinking about. This can clear your head for when you are trying to sleep.

 

4. You Let Your Anxiety Hold You Back

You really know that overthinking is holding you back when anxiety prevents you from doing things or moving forward in your life. Usually this involves thoughts about “What if?” and then thoughts about all the things that could possibly go wrong.

In cognitive therapy we call this type of negative thought pattern ‘catastrophizing’. You go to all sorts of worse- case scenario and that can make you very stuck and scared. I always think a good way to challenge this is to ask yourself “What is the worst thing that can happen?”. Catastrophizing thoughts are attached to very strong emotions as fear whips up our adrenaline system. However, if you breathe (to calm down the adrenaline) you can rationally challenge your thoughts and find that the worse things probably isn’t nearly as bad as your emotions suggest and that you could cope with them.

To overcome this pattern, take a problem-solving approach. Identify what is holding you back and what small steps you can take to overcome the problem. Rather than just going around and around thinking about it, take action in a way that is not too much outside of your comfort zone.

 

When clients first come in to see me, the main concerns that come up again and again are:

1. How can I feel less stressed, angry and overwhelmed?

2. What should I do if I feel panicky?

3. How can I stop worrying about everything: my children, partner, friends, work, my “to do” list….
   

So I put together a booklet with some strategies I am always giving to my clients to help them begin to feel less anxiety and to worry less.

I hope that you will find it helpful too.

Add your first name and email address in the box below and you will be sent the steps to download your FREE book.

I see clients in my Northbrook office or for your convenience, via telephone or internet sessions

If you have any questions about how to reduce anxiety

please phone me at 847 791-7722 or

email me below

Do you like being by the sea? I do and find it very relaxing to watch the waves coming in to the shore and out again. Many years ago a colleague of mine who had studied self-hypnosis taught me this simple beach mini meditation and I found it so useful that I have been telling it to my clients ever since.

Whether you are feeling revved up because you are getting irritated or overwhelmed because you have too much going on around you and you need to take a little mental time out, this self-hypnosis technique can quickly nix the adrenaline that is flooding your body and making your thoughts race.

It can also help calm down feelings of anxiety if you do it before you go into a stressful situation such as a test, interview, when public speaking or undergoing a dentist or medical procedure.

Some of my clients wake up in the morning feeling anxious and this meditation is a great way to calm down the adrenaline rush and start the day feeling calm.

Basically, it is helpful for any situation that is causing you to feel anxious, overwhelmed or stressed.

So How Do I Do The Waves Mini Meditation?

Close your eyes and imagine that there is a movie screen in your head, just behind your eyes. Picture yourself on that screen standing on a beach looking out at the water, your toes in the warm sand and the sunshine on your back.

You can picture a real beach that you loved visiting in the past or one that you conjure up from your imagination. It doesn’t really matter as long as it is a place you are feeling warm and relaxed in.

Now see yourself standing or sitting on the shore and you are watch the waves coming in towards you and out again. The froth of the wave crests then falls as it rolls into the sand.

Starting at 10 and counting backwards, count the rolls of the waves, breathing in slowly through your nose as the wave crests, and then slowly out of your mouth as the wave rolls back out and disappears.

10 – you breathe in slowly as the wave comes towards you and out as it rolls back to sea.

Now do the same counting 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 with each number you breathe in as the wave comes in, breathe out as it rolls back to sea.

By the time you have counted backwards from 10 to 1 you will feel very relaxed.

 

So Why Does This Meditation Work?

By focusing on a relaxing picture in your head you block out the thoughts that were causing you to feel stressed, overwhelmed or irritated. The slow rhythmic breathing as you count the waves in and out cuts down the adrenaline that is fueling your stress.

Practice this when you are alone with your eyes shut and soon you can do it by picturing the waves in your mind with your eyes open. This is very useful when you are in a situation that you are finding stressful but cannot leave. Just picture the waves inside your mind’s eye and breathe!

 

To find out more about coping with anxiety and worrying  download my free booklet Simple Steps To Overcome Anxiety & Worrying  use the sign up form below the book.

When clients first come in to see me, the main concerns that come up again and again are:

1. How can I feel less stressed, angry and overwhelmed?
2. What should I do if I feel panicky?
3. How can I stop worrying about everything: my children, partner, friends, work, my “to do” list….

So I put together a booklet with some strategies I am always giving to my clients to help them begin to feel less anxiety and to worry less.

I hope that you will find it helpful too.

Add your first name and email address in the box below and you will be sent the steps to download your FREE book.

If after reading my blog posts or booklet you feel ready to start working on reducing your anxiety but need support, I can help you overcome worrying in one-on-one individual counseling sessions.

In a supportive environment with a therapist who has over 20 years experience you can learn how to reduce worrying by:

• Learning a variety of relaxation and breathing strategies which can help you reduce your overall levels of stress and help you face anxiety-provoking situations.
• Explore why you are experiencing anxiety as well as learning how to distinguish between worries that require your attention and worries that are unnecessary.
• Learning skills to manage anxious thoughts and to tackle fears that may have been holding you back.While all your worries won’t disappear, you will be given strategies to manage them better and tools to reduce the impact they have on your life.

If you feel anxiety is standing in the way of you leading the life you want to, call me on 847 791-7722 or via the email form below.