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Anxiety

6 Ways To Reduce Stress and Stop Worrying!

by Dr. Sarah Allen
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6 Ways To Reduce Stress and Stop Worrying

 

Remote counseling

Read more about how remote counseling works Dr. Allen Telephone & Video Sessions 

 

6 Ways To Reduce Stress and Stop Worrying!

 

What Happens When We Don’t Manage Stress Effectively?

In small doses, stress can actually be useful as it helps you to stay focused, alert and increases energy. But when stress becomes chronic though, it can damage your health, mood and relationships. Basically,  your overall quality of life!

Stress is sneaky! It can easily creep up on you so that being frazzled and overwhelmed starts to feel normal. You may not even recognize how much it is affecting you so it is really important to recognize the signs and symptoms of stress and then take steps to stop feeling so overwhelmed.

 

Different Ways Stress Can Affect Us

 

Six Ways To Reduce Stress and Stop Worrying

So now you have identified how stress affecting you, let’s look at ways to feel less stressed and worried.

1. Stop The Adrenaline

When you are stressed, adrenaline runs through your body. Your heart beats fast, your body tenses up and one very important effect is that your thoughts race. Racing thoughts make thinking clearly difficult and that is when you get overwhelmed and stressed. Doing a quick breathing exercise clears your thoughts and lets you take a time out so you can come back to the situation and deal with it calmly.

1. Take a slow breath in through the nose, breathing into your lower belly so you feel it inflate like a balloon (for the count of 4)
2. Hold your breath for 1 or 2 seconds
3. Exhale slowly through the mouth so that you are pushing out the air in the “balloon” and you feel your belly suck in (for the count of 5)
4. Make sure the exhale breath is one or two counts longer that the inhale breath as this activates a greater relaxation response.
5. Wait a few seconds before taking another breath

Deep breathing triggers the stimulation of the vagus nerve which is a nerve running from the base of the brain to the abdomen. The vagas nerve then emits a chemical (the neurotransmitter acetylcholine) and that dampens our nervous system, lowering heart rate, relaxes muscles and most importantly, stops your thoughts from racing so you can think straight. As a psychologist I have been telling people the benefits of deep breathing for over 20 years but it is only the past few years with the advances of brain imaging that we know how the process works.

Scared baby against crazy mother

More details about how and why this works can be found in my blog post A Simple Way To Keep Calm

 

 

2. Get Enough Sleep

Getting more sleep sounds easy in theory, but so many people find it hard to achieve. It is the most important thing to change if you are feeling stressed though. The average amount of sleep needed by adults for their body and mind to be fully rested is around seven hours a night. This of course can vary but you know you aren’t getting enough when your mood is negatively affected. Lack of sleep can stop you thinking clearly, wrecks productivity and can alter your mood significantly. The “walking tired” anger more easily, have problematic relationships and are less likely than those who sleep well to exercise, eat healthfully, and engage in fun leisure activities; all because they are too tired.

What with work, errands and seeing to their family’s needs, women have so much to do that often they feel they can only get them done by staying up late. My clients also tell me they stay up late as it is the only way to get some “me time”.  Staying up late is probably not working for you though and improving your sleep is one of the best ways to improve the quality of your life. We need to work on being either more organized or less perfectionist about getting things done, knowing it’s okay to ask and expect help, and knowing it is totally necessary to have “me time”. But not at the expense of sleep!

sleep anxiety blog

I also have a lot more info on my blog post Sleep – Why It Is Important & How To Get It

 

 
 

3. Build In Time To Stop & Relax

I often hear my clients say “Come on, how on earth will I be able to make time for myself when I have so much to do?” and I always reply,  if you don’t look after yourself you won’t have the reserves to take care of all the other people in your life you take care of. When our reserves are low we’re cranky, overly sensitive and generally not as happy as we want to be. So please take some time each day, even if it only 10 minutes, to relax.

  • Have a warm bath (not hot) as this will help your body reach a temperature that’s ideal for rest.
  • Writing “to do” lists for the next day can organize your thoughts and clear your mind of any worrying thoughts that pop in to your head (more about that later…)
  • Relaxation exercises, such as light yoga stretches, help to relax the muscles. Don’t exercise vigorously though, as it will have the opposite effect.
  • Relaxation CDs can help as they use a hypnotic voice to guide you through muscle relaxation and soothing music and sound effects to relax your brain.
  • Watching TV or any computer or phone screen keeps the brain engaged and active so it is harder to fall asleep. It is better to read a book or listen to the radio as that relaxes the mind by distracting it from the present worries.

4: Don’t Run Yourself Ragged

Say no! If you are a people-pleaser it is very hard to say no when someone asks you to do something, even if your schedule is already overwhelming. I suggest that you always say “let me get back to you on that” then actually ask yourself:

a) Do I want to do it?

b) Do I have time to do it without making myself overwhelmed?

It is usually easier to say no when you are not face to face with someone.

5. Stress Is Closely Related To Worry So Worry Less

So how do we worry less? Obviously easier said than done but the first step is to distinguish between worries that require your attention and worries that are unnecessary.

The following questions can help you clarify this:

“Can I do something about this problem?”

“Is this something I always worry about, but nothing ever happens?”

“Is this something that has a solution?”

“Will my worrying make this situation better or worse or have no effect at all?”

6-ways

If there is something you can do about the problem, take action or consciously choose not to take action.

People often delay or avoid taking action or making decisions because they are worried about making a mistake.

If the situation is out of your control and there is nothing you can do, worrying does not make the situation better!

Tell yourself that your worries are not helpful and let them go. Again , I know this is easier said than done, but it can improve with practice.

It can help to challenge your thoughts about the worry and ask yourself:

“Where’s the evidence for that?” or

“What would be so bad about that?” or

“Is this problem so important that I should spend all my time thinking about it?”

To read more about reducing worry read The Number One Question That Helps Worrying

 
 
 

6. Reduce A Worry’s Power Over You

One very effective way to reduce a worry’s power over you is by getting the negative thoughts out of your head and on to paper. Being able to see the worry in black and white helps give you more perspective.

Study your worries by keeping a Worry Diary.

Write down what you fear might happen (be as specific as possible) and then later write down if what you were worried about actually happened, whether it was as bad as you expected, and what you did to cope with the situation.

This will help you understand your worries better, distinguish between worries that are useful and those that are useless, and help you realize that you can cope no matter what happens.

  • Set aside some time during the day to worry— your “worry time”.  Select a time every day that is convenient for you and pick a suitable amount of time to worry (half an hour, one hour). Use this time to think about your worries and about possible resolutions. It can be helpful to write things down. It will take time to train yourself not to dwell on worries at other times of the day or night.
  • Practice is key here. What you can do if you worry outside of the set aside time is to write the worry down and put it in a “worry box” (you can use an empty tissue box for this or write the worry in a list you keep on your smart phone). Then, when it’s your official worry time, you can look at your worries and deal with them appropriately.
  • Keep a pen and a pad of paper for worries that come to you at night. Night worries can go round and around in our head as it seems so important at the time to remember them. This can cause adrenaline levels to start rising in your body which of course, keeps you awake and your thoughts racing more. Writing the worry down and then distracting yourself (read using a book light or do a relaxation techniques) calms you physically and mentally, allowing you to get to sleep.

I hope you find these 6 tips useful. If you would like to read more about ways to overcome anxiety and worrying please take a look at my free booklet.

When clients first come in to see me, the main concerns that come up again and again are:

  1. How can I feel less stressed, angry and overwhelmed?

  2. What should I do if I feel panicky?

  3. How can I stop worrying about everything: my children, partner, friends, work, my “to do” list….

SIMPLE STEPS TO OVERCOME ANXIETY & WORRYING ebook

So I put together a booklet with some strategies I am always giving to my clients to help them begin to feel less anxiety and to worry less.

I hope that you will find it helpful too.

Add your first name and email address in the box below and you will be sent the steps to download your FREE book.

You've just been sent an email that contains a confirmation link. Check your SPAM/JUNK folder if you don't see it within a couple of minutes. In order to activate to receive your free booklet, click on the CONFIRM link and you will be sent a second email with the booklet. It may also be in your SPAM folder.

Currently I am only seeing clients remotely via telephone or internet sessions.

If you have any questions about how to reduce anxiety please phone me at 847 791-7722 or

email me below

    Dr. Allen is currently offering remote therapy sessions to residents of Illinois & Florida via phone and video. Unfortunately her professional license does not allow her to give personalized advice via email to people who are not her clients.

    7 Ways To Reduce Stress Waiting For The Election Result

    by Dr. Sarah Allen
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    Election Stress

    Many of us have been feeling stressed by the roller coaster of emotions we are feeling while we wait for the election results and what they will mean for ourselves and the country. We are already stressed by the pandemic and the financial, health and life disruptions that has brought. What can we do to feel less anxious?

    When things happen in the world that shake our sense of safety, our levels of adrenaline skyrockets leaving us stressed and feeling out of control.

    Here are 7 ways to start feeling better.

    1. The first thing to do is breath. Basically, deep breathing and adrenaline can’t co-exist in the same body as it triggers the release of a neurotransmitter (acetylcholine) that calms you down and most importantly, stops your thoughts from racing so you can think straight. Read more here Need A Simple Way To Keep Calm?

    2. Next, think about what you can and cannot control and move your focus to make changes to things you do have control over. You can influence your children to have good morals and to treat women or people who are different from themselves well. You can go through life following your own inner compass about how to treat people.

    3. Stress often makes us focus on the negative and ignore the positives in our lives. Widen the lens you are looking through. You may be disappointed at the moment but there are still many really good things in the world and your life.  Your life is more than this one moment.

    4. Do a random act of kindness to make yourself and someone else feel better.

    5. Hug the ones you love. A good hug is the fastest way for you to get oxytocin flowing in your body. This  “love drug” calms your nervous system and boosts positive emotions.

    6. Spend time with people who share your same value system. Vent about your feelings with like-minded people  and buffer yourself by knowing that there are other people who are feeling the same way you do.

    7. Most importantly, be kind to yourself and give yourself the time to process your feelings and do whatever makes you happy in this moment and to others so they know that there are people out there who care.

    The information about how to stay calm through breathing is summarized in a tear-out sheet in my free booklet Simple Steps To Overcome Anxiety & Worrying. There is also a lot of other helpful information that highlights areas of your life where you can make small changes, which added together result in big changes in your mood.

    SIMPLE STEPS TO OVERCOME ANXIETY & WORRYING ebook

    I put together a booklet with some strategies I am always giving to my clients to help them begin to feel less anxiety and to worry less.

    I hope that you will find it helpful too.

    Add your first name and email address in the box below and you will be sent the steps to download your FREE book.

    You've just been sent an email that contains a confirmation link. Check your SPAM/JUNK folder if you don't see it within a couple of minutes. In order to activate to receive your free booklet, click on the CONFIRM link and you will be sent a second email with the booklet. It may also be in your SPAM folder.

    I see clients in my Northbrook office or for your convenience, via telephone or internet sessions

    If you have any questions about how to reduce anxiety

    please phone me at 847 791-7722 or

    email me below

      Dr. Allen is currently offering remote therapy sessions to residents of Illinois & Florida via phone and video. Unfortunately her professional license does not allow her to give personalized advice via email to people who are not her clients.

       

       

      Oprah Magazine Interview About Stress Management

      by Dr. Sarah Allen

      Read more about how remote counseling works Dr. Allen Telephone & Video Sessions    I Destroyed Plates, a Printer, and Sharp Objects at a Rage Room to Try and De-Stress! Oprah Magazine| September 2019 I recently received an email from journalist Sam Gutierrez who was writing a piece for the Oprah Magazine about dealing with […]

      Read the full article →

      Remote Therapy Appointments Available

      by Dr. Sarah Allen

      Remote Therapy For Difficult Times How are you holding up? Life has certainly taken an unexpected turn for all of us the past few weeks. The fear and uncertainty around the Covid-19 pandemic and the huge effect it has had on our lives in such a short period of time has caused a lot of […]

      Read the full article →

      5 Best Anxiety Treatment Blog Posts

      by Dr. Sarah Allen

      Here are my five most popular blog posts that help reduce anxiety condensed into one post so you don’t have to search though all my blog posts to see these many tips. I hope you find them useful and if you do, I have many more on my website for you to read too. If […]

      Read the full article →

      7 Simple Grounding Techniques For Calming Down Quickly

      by Dr. Sarah Allen

        Read more about how remote counseling works Dr. Allen Telephone & Video Sessions    7 Simple Grounding Techniques For Calming Down Quickly One of the tools I teach my clients to utilize when they feel anxious is called Grounding. When your mind is racing mind, grounding brings you back to the here-and-now and is […]

      Read the full article →

      Woman’s World Magazine America’s Ultimate Experts Article

      by Dr. Sarah Allen

      Help! I Am Worried All The Time!   A few weeks ago I got an email from Kristina Mastrocola, Senior Editor at Woman’s World magazine, asking to interview me for their America’s Ultimate Expert page about things people can do to stop worrying. To say I was honored was an understatement! Woman’s World is a […]

      Read the full article →

      Is Overthinking Making You Anxious?

      by Dr. Sarah Allen

      Do you find yourself reading too much into situations or spending too much time trying to make decisions? You are likely overthinking things and it is probably not helpful to your emotional well-being. Here are 4 signs that suggest you overthink things: You Ruminate A clear sign you are overthinking is that you spend a […]

      Read the full article →

      Beach Waves Mini Meditation Helps Reduce Stress

      by Dr. Sarah Allen

      Do you like being by the sea? I do and find it very relaxing to watch the waves coming in to the shore and out again. Many years ago a colleague of mine who had studied self-hypnosis taught me this simple beach mini meditation and I found it so useful that I have been telling […]

      Read the full article →

      Need A Simple Way To Keep Calm?

      by Dr. Sarah Allen

        Read more about how remote counseling works Dr. Allen Telephone & Video Sessions   How To Hang In There When You Are About To Unravel! We would all of course like to be cool, calm and collected at all times. Chaos surrounds us yet we remain serene and unflappable… So here’s the reality. Things […]

      Read the full article →
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      Anxiety

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      SIMPLE STEPS TO OVERCOME ANXIETY & WORRYING EBOOK

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      You've just been sent an email that contains a confirmation link. Check your SPAM/JUNK folder if you don't see it within a couple of minutes. In order to activate to receive your free booklet, click on the CONFIRM link and you will be sent a second email with the booklet. It may also be in your SPAM folder.

    • Testimonials

      When I started seeing Dr. Allen for therapy I felt so overwhelmed and trapped in daily battles with my three children. Thank you so much for all your help. It has really helped me gain a better perspective. I am now a role model for my children and help them worry less about things by teaching them the tools you taught me.

      Margaret R.

      I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t a worrier and when my doctor suggested therapy instead of an antidepressant I didn’t think it could really help. I was totally wrong. I don’t spend so much time worrying about the “what ifs” now and concentrate on working on things that are in my control to change in the “here and now” rather than in the past or future. I spend much less time in my head worrying about everything and now have useful strategies to deal with many situations at home and at work. Life is much less stressful and I find myself teaching people I manage at work the strategies Dr. Allen taught me.

      Mark B.

      Last year I was so crippled by anxiety and panic attacks and I didn’t believe that anything or anyone would be able to help me. Since seeing you my life has changed forever and I am finally turning into the person that I always wanted to be…and the person I never thought I could be. You will be the person I call if I start to feel that way again.

      Wendy T.

      When I started seeing you for therapy I felt so overwhelmed and trapped in daily battles with my three children. Thank you so much for all your help. It has really helped me gain a better perspective. I am now a role model for my children and help them worry less about things by teaching them the tools you taught me.

      Margaret R.

      When I need to refer any of my patients for talk therapy I immediately think of Dr. Allen as she is wonderful at helping people with severe and complex issues really get to the root of their problems. She is very caring and knowledgeable and I have found her extensive experience really helps people to change their lives for the better.

      Dr. Teresa PoprawskiPsychiatrist, First Chicago Neuroscience Clinic
    • Recent Posts

      • 6 Ways To Reduce Stress and Stop Worrying!
      • 7 Ways To Reduce Stress Waiting For The Election Result
      • Oprah Magazine Interview About Stress Management
      • Remote Therapy Appointments Available
      • 5 Best Anxiety Treatment Blog Posts
      • 7 Simple Grounding Techniques For Calming Down Quickly
      • Woman’s World Magazine America’s Ultimate Experts Article
      • Is Overthinking Making You Anxious?
      • Beach Waves Mini Meditation Helps Reduce Stress
      • Need A Simple Way To Keep Calm?
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