It is the beginning of a year and all around us we see ways we should be healthier, should exercise, eat less, or eat this not that, to lose the weight you put on during the holidays. At a time when setting goals about eating habits feels nearly automatic, I am suggesting that we look at this another way. Let’s examine how our eating is affected by our emotions.
It’s easy to decide that this is the moment to stop late-night snacking or swear off sweets for good. The pressure to change everything quickly can get overwhelming and strict rules rarely make things easier. If you use food for comfort or distraction, setting intense goals often only adds stress. In most cases, emotional eating isn’t about food itself. It’s about feelings that haven’t had room to be seen or heard. That’s what I pay attention to when helping someone move forward from patterns of emotional eating.
If you’re thinking about goals for the year ahead, I’d like to show you how to keep them realistic and gentle, especially if emotional eating is present. You don’t need a particular diet. You don’t have to push so hard. The biggest changes I’ve witnessed in my clients happen through small, consistent choices and exploring and changing their underlying emotions and how they affect your eating.
The Problem with All-or-Nothing Resolutions
Strict diets and sharp rules seem like the best way to gain control. They offer structure and make you feel hopeful at first. But in my experience, these don’t work when emotional eating is in the mix.
Emotional eating is already tangled with guilt, pressure, or shame. If you suddenly set lots of rigid goals, like quitting entire food groups or banning every snack, it doesn’t take much for things to slip. If a goal feels out of reach one day, it’s easy to spiral down into discouragement. That feeling often triggers more emotional eating.
The pattern I see is familiar. Someone tries hard to stick with all their goals but then runs headlong into the impossible standards they set. When they can’t meet those standards, guilt and shame show up. I spend a lot of time shifting my clients away from these harsh patterns. We become curious about what’s driving food choices, and let go of strict rules. This gentle approach tends to unlock changes that last.
Focusing on Small, Sustainable Shifts in Behavior
Lasting changes nearly always begin as something simple. Big transformations hardly ever happen overnight. It is small, consistent changes that make it easier to keep going over time. Some of the things I’ve helped clients work on include eating regular, balanced meals instead of skipping and grazing. This keeps your blood sugar more even as they can significantly impact mood. Low levels can lead to irritability, fatigue, and anxiety, while high levels can cause low mood, lethargy and difficulty concentrating.
Just a few examples of these simple shifts:
– Eat at regular times, even if it’s just a snack.
– Sit down and slow down when eating a meal or snack so you actually taste it.
– Notice if you’re hungry or if something else is going on, like boredom or stress.
These small moments help interrupt the cycle of using food to cover up emotions. Regular meals also help prevent swings in blood sugar and when you eat routinely, your body and feelings often become steadier.
What I’ve found is that fewer energy and mood crashes make it easier to pause and check in rather than react on autopilot. Real change comes from these moments of awareness, when you respond to your emotions with curiosity instead of returning to old habits.
We will also use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Mindfulness that is focused on your individual emotional triggers linked to eating habits, helping you build long-term coping strategies that fit their lifestyles.
For more information read Overcoming Emotional Eating: How Therapy Can Help!
Listening to Your Emotions Without Judging
Emotional eating doesn’t usually begin as a problem. Most of the time, it’s a way of caring for yourself in the only way you know. If you’re holding sadness, stress, loneliness, or frustration inside, soothing yourself with food might become your automatic go to.
One important part of change is learning to notice your emotions without loading shame on top. Without this skill, it’s easy to stay stuck in the eat-to-cope cycle. Sometimes I recommend that someone just pause and put a name to what’s coming up for them. You might quietly say to yourself, I’m feeling overwhelmed or I’m lonely right now. This pause won’t erase the emotion, but it shifts your attention so you can decide what comes next, rather than falling into an automatic habit.
I’ve seen the impact of this shift with many clients. By gently noticing what they feel, they can start relating to themselves with greater understanding. It’s not about ending emotional eating right away. The first goal is simply noticing what’s happening inside with less judgment and more patience.
As part of our process, I often use practical tools like emotion logs/food journals to make it easier for people to track feelings and patterns in real life. This helps create clarity and self-awareness without extra pressure.
Creating Goals with Self-Kindness
Being kind to yourself isn’t just a nice idea. It gives new habits a real bedrock for growth. If strict new-year goals haven’t worked for you, it might be time to change your approach.
Rather than fixing every part of your eating all at once, you might:
– Notice one time each day you want to eat for emotional reasons.
– Take a ten-minute break when feeling tense and see if your need to eat goes away.
– Write down one supportive thought when you start to feel pressure around food.
These types of shifts don’t bring shame or guilt. They spark reflection and create calmer space for you to decide how you’d like to act. I also encourage you to practice letting each day stand as a new start. Skipping a goal or making a choice you regret doesn’t define your progress. Each day is another chance at kindness, patience and reflection. That’s often what breaks the negative cycle many people find themselves looping through.
Setting Up Predictable Routines
High levels of anxiety can feed emotional eating, especially when life feels unpredictable. That’s when having a gentle structure in your day can help you feel steadier. No one needs a strict minute-by-minute schedule. Sometimes it’s as basic as having a regular bedtime, prepping a few simple meals in advance, or keeping some easy snacks on hand so you’re not searching for food during emotional moments.
In my experience, people who build light routines are more likely to feel settled throughout their day. Here are a few routines that many clients find helpful:
– Create a short wind-down routine before bed.
– Prepare basic meals or snacks ahead of time.
– Set a small time to pause after work or busy times during the day, not just during meals.
The best routines act as gentle rails, guiding you when emotions run high or the day throws something unexpected your way. Instead of following a strict plan, these routines create a rhythm that helps you check in with yourself. There’s less feeling of being tossed between extremes, and more room to take care of what’s truly needed.
In my Northbrook office or via remote sessions, I regularly help my clients develop daily structure and practical routines that reduce anxiety and bring a sense of calm to their relationship with food. We also target what is causing anxiety or depression and develop strategies for that. Once you feel that your emotions stop hijacking you, we don’t need to address emotional eating as much anymore, as it happens much less frequently. I say this many times – Emotional Eating Isn’t About The Food!
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is an evidence based, highly effective type of therapy. Read more about all the different emotional issues it can treat What Is CBT? A Simple Guide To Understanding Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
Building a Calmer Relationship with Food This Year
Goals set from a place of kindness towards yourself tend to last much longer than goals rooted in pressure and strict rules. The urge to fix emotional eating quickly rarely leads to progress. Each gentle decision you make, like pausing before grabbing a snack or noticing one emotional urge a day, builds lasting momentum. You never need to be perfect, and you certainly don’t need all the answers sorted out right away. It is possible to change how you relate to food when those goals are simple, caring, and tied to what’s truly happening in your mind and heart.
For personalized emotional eating treatment, contact me, Dr. Sarah Allen. I see clients in my office in Northbrook, a North Shore Chicago suburb, or virtually across IL, FL and the UK.
If emotional eating has been affecting your weight or the way you feel about yourself, taking small, steady steps can ease the pressure. I’ve found that clear structure and a better understanding of what’s underneath the eating can lead to real change. Learn how treatment for emotional eating can help you feel more supported this year.
I specialize in empowering you to have the relationship with food that you want, rather than weight and food issues controlling you. If you have any questions, or would like to set up an appointment to work with me, please contact me at 847 791-7722 or on the form below.
If you would like to read more about me and my areas of specialty, please visit Dr. Sarah Allen Bio. Dr. Allen’s professional license only allows her to work with clients who live in IL, FL & the UK and unfortunately does not allow her to give personalized advice via email to people who are not her clients.
Dr. Allen sees clients in person in her Northbrook, IL office or remotely via video or phone.
What Can I Read That Helps Me While I Am Waiting For My First Appointment With Sarah?
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