Do you ever look in the mirror and focus on a particular body part you are unhappy about and then start to be hypercritical and notice and worry about other parts of your body too? You wish your bum wasn’t quite as big in those jeans and then you notice your thighs and the wrinkles on your knees and soon your negative, super critical thoughts are out of control. Here are three ways you can nix those negative thoughts and give a positive boost to your body image.
1. Get Grounded
Thoughts race from one thing to another because they are fueled by adrenaline. We think something negative about one part of the body and those thoughts spiral, increasing our anxiety about how we look until we can start to feel utterly hopeless about our whole body.
This simple grounding trick helps you get out of your brain and into your body so you can feel how strong and capable your body is. Start by standing up. Feel that negative energy fueled by those criticisms you are saying to yourself. Let the energy travel down from your brain, through your body and down through your legs and feet. Like roots of a tree the energy is connecting you to the floor. Feel how strong your legs are. Feel the energy coming down your arms and out of your fingertips, shake it out. Be present in your body and breathe in slowly for the count of 4, hold for 4 and breathe out for 4.
Now that your brain isn’t racing, let’s take a calm look at those critical things you are saying to yourself and challenge their validity.
2. Stop That Critical Voice & Be Kind To Yourself
Try to notice what exactly you are saying to yourself when you are being critical about your body. You are probably being very harsh on yourself. You wouldn’t dream of saying those things to anyone else so why is it okay to talk to yourself that way?
Write down a list of your top-ten strengths: What do you like about yourself? What do you do well? Many people I work with find it hard to come up with a list of positive things about themselves, so I suggest they ask a couple of supportive friends to chime in too. Not just about how you look but who you are as a person. When you stop judging yourself so harshly, you begin to see your strengths, as well as your perceived flaws. Build up yourself-confidence by talking nicely to yourself and by reminding yourself of everything you have to offer the world is a powerful tool you can use to head of self-criticism.
3. Use Your Body To Trick Your Mind
Another way to get your body to influence your mind is to do the “Wonder Woman” stance, feet apart, hands on your hips , chin up and shoulders back. Smile! Tell yourself you are great. Louder, I didn’t hear you! That’s right, loud and clear, smile and tell yourself how great you are!
Ann Cuddy’s research on body language found that adopting a positive and strong body pose can actually subconsciously change the brain to give us a message that we are a confident person. It also reduces cortisol levels (the stress hormone)and so reduces stress levels. Cuddy’s research showed again and again that when people adopt an expansive confident stance they actually feel more confident and better about themselves.
I specialize in empowering you to have the relationship with food that you want, rather than weight and food issues controlling you. If you have any questions, or would like to set up an appointment to work with me, please contact me at 847 791-7722 or on the form below.
If you would like to read more about me and my areas of specialty, please visit Dr. Sarah Allen Bio. Dr. Allen’s professional license only allows her to work with clients who live in IL & FL & the UK and unfortunately does not allow her to give personalized advice via email to people who are not her clients.
Dr. Allen is a colleague of mine and she is an excellent therapist. She is warm, caring, and exceptional at her work. I refer clients to Dr. Allen and I highly recommend her if you are looking for a top notch therapist.
Jodi Petchenik, LCSW
I Learned To Cope Beyond the Scale
When I first came to see Dr. Allen, I was sick of struggling with my weight. With her help, I realized that a lot of my eating habits were a way of dealing with the bad relationship I was in. With her support, I made some big changes in my life, increased my self-confidence and found better ways to deal with my stressful job. Now I don’t need to eat my way to feeling better, I have much better ways to cope with life’s difficulties.
Ann C.
Overcoming Emotional Eating
I have always been on a diet and my mood went up and down as my weight did. My internist thought I might be depressed and referred me to Sarah. I was willing to give anything a try but really thought I just needed more self discipline to stick to my diet. By talking things through with her I quickly realized that not being able to stick to a diet wasn’t really about food, although I certainly craved sweets. I learned to notice how different emotions and situations triggered my overeating and Sarah showed me other ways that don’t involve food to deal with how I felt. I have a much better relationship with food now and don’t view it as the enemy. Sarah showed genuine concern and was very encouraging. I would recommend her services to anyone struggling with eating issues.
Anonymous
Dr. Allen Helped Me to Feel More Empowered
Dr. Allen has really helped me find my own voice. When I began therapy I would swing between being passive and doing whatever other people wanted me to do to being angry and frustrated. I have been on antidepressants for quite a few years but it wasn’t really working. Through therapy I have learned to listen to my own needs and to speak up. I used to worry that people wouldn’t like me if I didn’t agree with them but when Dr. Allen gave me the support I needed I challenged my fears. I spend a lot less time feeling angry and depressed now and I have really widened my social network. This is how I have always wanted to be but didn’t know how to get there. Dr. Allen has a very reassuring manner and makes you challenge yourself but by using small steps so you feel ready to do it. I have really come out of my shell and would recommend anyone who is feeling depressed to come and talk with her.
Rebecca F.
Trusted & Knowledgeable Therapist.
When I need to refer any of my patients for talk therapy I immediately think of Dr. Allen as she is wonderful at helping people with severe and complex issues really get to the root of their problems. She is very caring and knowledgeable and I have found her extensive experience really helps people to change their lives for the better.
Dr. Teresa Poprawski
I become empowered and a happier person.
I began seeing Dr. Allen when my first child was around a year old. I had experienced a very traumatic birth, after a difficult pregnancy where I was on bed rest for a good portion of the time. The first year of my son’s life was spent worrying constantly. I also experienced flashbacks to the birth, which was an emergency C-section under general anesthesia. My son was in the NICU for several days following his birth, and I was not given very much information as to why. I remember thinking that he would die, or that something awful was going to happen.
I experienced a great deal of anxiety that first year, and I thought that it was due to being a new mom. I wasn’t sleeping, I wasn’t eating as normal, and I remember being worried about leaving the house or taking my baby with me anywhere. I worried constantly about illness, germs, etc.
The first day that I saw Dr. Allen, she gave me some questionnaires to fill out before we started talking. Then we sat down and talked about my experiences with my son’s birth and the early days of his life, and the year or so since then. I remember to this day the relief that I felt when she looked at me and said that I had PPD and PTSD, which was a result of the trauma I experienced during and immediately after the birth of my son. She explained how my brain had reacted to the stress of these events, and related it to why I was feeling the way that I felt. It made so much sense. Then, she described ways that I could get over the trauma, work through the feelings, and recover from PTSD and PPD. I felt so empowered, and so happy that the way I felt had a name, and that it was treatable. It also made me feel so validated in the ways that I had felt and reacted following my son’s birth. I wasn’t going crazy. My reaction was normal and natural. And with the help of Dr. Allen, and the type of therapy that she uses, I knew I could recover.
It is over five years since that first visit with Dr. Allen, and I still use the tools that she taught me today to deal with stress. I credit her with helping me to become a more empowered, happier person.
