Coping Strategies for Parents with a Baby in the NICU

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Coping strategies for parents with a baby in NICU

Becoming a parent to a newborn in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) can be emotionally and mentally challenging. The rollercoaster of emotions, fears, and uncertainties accompanying this phase can strain your mental health and cause immense stress. It is essential to prioritize self-care and establish effective strategies for coping with the impact that NICU admission may have on your emotions and mental wellbeing.

As you embark on the NICU journey with your newborn, it’s vital to remember that setting aside time to nurture your mental health is not a luxury but a necessity. By implementing these coping strategies and practices, you’ll foster a healthier emotional environment for yourself and your baby, creating a strong foundation for a positive future together.

In this blog post I explore practical coping mechanisms and tips to maintain your mental health when your baby is in the NICU and along the way, you’ll discover how to:

Set Realistic Expectations for the NICU Journey

Being prepared for the ups and downs of the NICU experience can provide some emotional stability during this trying time. Understand that your baby’s progress may be slow and filled with setbacks. Keep in mind that every child’s NICU journey is unique and avoid comparisons with other babies in the unit. Discuss openly with your baby’s healthcare team and seek their guidance in setting attainable milestones for your baby’s recovery.

Engage in Consistent Self-Care

A strong foundation of self-care is crucial during your baby’s time in the NICU. Maintaining your physical and emotional wellbeing will enable you to better care for your child. Consider the following tips:

Seek Support from a Vast Network

A strong support system can significantly impact your ability to cope during your baby’s NICU stay. Here are some helpful ways to seek support:

Foster Connection and Bonding with Your Baby

Despite the medical interventions and circumstances surrounding your baby’s NICU stay, establishing a bond is possible and incredibly important for both you and your child. Some ways to foster connection include:

Conclusion

Navigating the emotional journey of having a baby in the NICU can be strenuous, but prioritizing your mental health is essential for both you and your family. By implementing the coping strategies discussed, you can create a supportive and nurturing environment for your baby, while strengthening your resilience. Remember, acknowledging and processing your emotions is not a sign of weakness. Approach each day with kindness, compassion, and grace towards yourself and your family.

Are you struggling to cope with the emotional toll of having a baby in the NICU? Please reach out for support, you don’t have to go through this alone.

Dr. Sarah Allen

Dr. Sarah Allen has 25+ years of experience helping women to transition to being the mom they want to be. She is also the Director of the Postpartum Depression Alliance of IL, a non-profit she started 20 years ago that offers information & support to pregnant & postpartum women and their families. She has also published research on postpartum depression and traumatic childbirth and presented at conferences.

If you would like to work with Sarah, please phone her at 847 791-7722 or on the form below.

If you would like to read more about me and my areas of specialty,  please visit Dr. Sarah Allen Bio. Dr. Allen’s professional license only allows her to work with clients who live in IL & FL & the UK and unfortunately does not allow her to give personalized advice via email to people who are not her clients. 

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    My baby didn’t sleep. She wouldn’t sleep more than a couple of hours at night and no more than 30 minutes during the day. I was completely overwhelmed and my husband and I were at each other’s throats. I was supposed to be going back to work but was barely functioning. Sarah helped us to learn how to get our baby sleeping and then she supported me in my transition back to work. She also helped my husband and I navigate how to share childcare and running the house fairly. She is a very knowledgeable therapist and has really helped us.

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    Dr. Allen has really helped me find my own voice. When I began therapy I would swing between being passive and doing whatever other people wanted me to do to being angry and frustrated. I have been on antidepressants for quite a few years but it wasn’t really working. Through therapy I have learned to listen to my own needs and to speak up. I used to worry that people wouldn’t like me if I didn’t agree with them but when Dr. Allen gave me the support I needed I challenged my fears. I spend a lot less time feeling angry and depressed now and I have really widened my social network. This is how I have always wanted to be but didn’t know how to get there. Dr. Allen has a very reassuring manner and makes you challenge yourself but by using small steps so you feel ready to do it. I have really come out of my shell and would recommend anyone who is feeling depressed to come and talk with her.

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    I refer as many patients as I can to Dr. Allen. She is an expert in treating perinatal mood disorders, and a well-trained and experienced therapist who is committed to working with her clients to develop a treatment plan designed for each individual. She exhibits genuine warmth, kindness and compassion for each of her clients. Dr. Allen has been a colleague of mine for more than 20 years, and I have great confidence when I refer patients to her.

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    I began seeing Dr. Allen when my first child was around a year old. I had experienced a very traumatic birth, after a difficult pregnancy where I was on bed rest for a good portion of the time. The first year of my son’s life was spent worrying constantly. I also experienced flashbacks to the birth, which was an emergency C-section under general anesthesia. My son was in the NICU for several days following his birth, and I was not given very much information as to why. I remember thinking that he would die, or that something awful was going to happen.

    I experienced a great deal of anxiety that first year, and I thought that it was due to being a new mom. I wasn’t sleeping, I wasn’t eating as normal, and I remember being worried about leaving the house or taking my baby with me anywhere. I worried constantly about illness, germs, etc.

    The first day that I saw Dr. Allen, she gave me some questionnaires to fill out before we started talking. Then we sat down and talked about my experiences with my son’s birth and the early days of his life, and the year or so since then. I remember to this day the relief that I felt when she looked at me and said that I had PPD and PTSD, which was a result of the trauma I experienced during and immediately after the birth of my son. She explained how my brain had reacted to the stress of these events, and related it to why I was feeling the way that I felt. It made so much sense. Then, she described ways that I could get over the trauma, work through the feelings, and recover from PTSD and PPD. I felt so empowered, and so happy that the way I felt had a name, and that it was treatable. It also made me feel so validated in the ways that I had felt and reacted following my son’s birth. I wasn’t going crazy. My reaction was normal and natural. And with the help of Dr. Allen, and the type of therapy that she uses, I knew I could recover.

    It is over five years since that first visit with Dr. Allen, and I still use the tools that she taught me today to deal with stress. I credit her with helping me to become a more empowered, happier person.

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    When I had my first baby I had what I now know was postpartum depression but I didn’t get any help. It did go away after about 18mths but it was a miserable way to begin motherhood.  When I was pregnant with my second child I started to become depressed again and this time told my OB/GYN how I was feeling and she referred me to Sarah. By starting to deal with how I felt and change the way I was handling the stresses in my life, I was in a much better place when my baby was born. The second time round my PPD was much less severe and didn’t last as long. 

    Sarah was also really helpful in teaching me ways to make the transition of becoming a big sister easier for my oldest one too.   My husband came with me for some sessions and that really helped our relationship and we started working on parenting issues together.  Sarah’s counsel and support really helped our family transition to the good place we are all in today.

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