Women’s Issues

Anxiety, worry and stress are a part of everyday life. It can be helpful in spurring us on in to action, for example when we worry about a test, we study, or warn us that a difficult situation is ahead so we can prepare for it.

Anxiety becomes a disorder though when the symptoms become chronic and interfere with our daily lives and our ability to function the way we want to.

Anxiety is the number one problem that people come to see me about and about 18% of adults and 8% of teens experience symptoms that interfere with their life and happiness. Many do not reach out for help and continue to struggle on and feel less than satisfied with the way their life is. This is such a shame because anxiety is very treatable.

Everyone’s experience is different but here is a list of common emotional and physical symptoms that people who feel anxious report:

• I know that I worry much more than I should
• I have trouble controlling constant worries
• I am not able to relax
• I have a hard time concentrating
• I have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep
• I feel tired all the time
• I have headaches, muscle aches, stomach aches, or unexplained pains
• I am irritable and have mood swings

Although Symptoms are Similar, There are Different Types of Anxiety

It is important to get the bottom of exactly what is going on so treatment can be geared to what you need. If you’ve struggled with worry and fears for a long time, it is very likely that you are experiencing Generalized Anxiety Disorder. But what if your symptoms are relatively short-term? Some medical conditions and/or medications can actually cause anxiety or perhaps you have recently experienced a traumatic event or situation?

Although symptoms are similar, there are different types of anxiety. Which sounds most like your experience?

Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) This is the most common form of anxiety and is when people have excessive anxiety and worry which occurs more days than not. In addition, symptoms of restlessness, fatigue, concentration problems, irritability, muscle tension and sleep disturbance may be present. Someone experiencing GAD finds it really difficult to control or regulate their worry.

Panic Disorder A panic attack is an intense fear or discomfort accompanied by physical symptoms such as sweating, trembling and chest pain. People’s thoughts are usually about fear of losing control and/or dying. A panic attack can happen with any of the anxiety disorders, but panic disorder itself is characterized by recurrent, unexpected panic attacks and persistent concerns about having additional panic attacks.

Social Phobia This is where people worry about social situations and have a fear of being seen negatively by others. This often leads to people avoiding social situations or if they have to go there is a lot of worry beforehand and often rumination about it afterwards.

Specific Phobia This is when anxiety is a persistent and excessive fear about an anticipated or actual encounter with a specific object or situation e.g. spiders. A phobic person often organizes their life around avoiding it.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) A person with OCD has obsessions (which are persistent thoughts, images or impulses) and compulsions (which are behaviors done to reduce their anxiety). Having OCD is time-consuming and can really impact life activities. People with OCD recognize that their worries and compensating behaviors are excessive but cannot stop for fear of what will happen if they don’t do them. The most frequent compulsions involve washing and cleaning, counting, seeking assurances, checking and/or repeating actions.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) The anxiety in Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is clearly associated with a traumatic event that the person experienced or witnessed and involved intense fear, horror or helplessness. In addition, there are recurrent, intrusive recollections of the events which are anxiety-provoking and distressing to the person. There may be avoidance of any situations associated with the original trauma and other anxiety-related symptoms such as hyper-vigilance or exaggerated startle response.

Pregnancy & Postpartum Anxiety  This is when symptoms occur during pregnancy or up to a year after having a baby. Approximately 6% of pregnant women and 10% of postpartum women develop anxiety, sometimes alone, and sometimes in addition to depression.

All types of anxiety have two things in common. Firstly, it feels absolutely horrible to when you experience anxiety and your quality of life is really effected. Secondly, and very importantly, treatment can be very effective.

Through proven, research-based therapy methods and my 20 years of experience, I can quickly get to the root of the problem. Using a compassionate, problem-solving approach to identify and treat the issues that are causing you to feel overwhelmed and stressed, we work together to help you worry less and enjoy life more.

I put together a booklet with some strategies I am always giving to my clients to help them begin to feel less anxiety and to worry less.

I hope that you will find it helpful too.

Add your first name and email address in the box below and you will be sent the steps to download your FREE book.

Please let me know if  you have any questions after reading the booklet. Also, if you would like to read more, I have several blog posts on my blog about anxiety and other issues that can affect the way you feel.

In a supportive environment with a therapist who has over 20 years experience you can learn how to reduce worrying by:

• Learning a variety of relaxation and breathing strategies which can help you reduce your overall levels of stress and help you face anxiety-provoking situations.
• Learning how to distinguish between worries that require your attention and worries that are unnecessary.
• Learning skills to manage anxious thoughts and to tackle fears that may have been holding you back.While all your worries won’t disappear, you will be given strategies to manage them better and tools to reduce the impact they have on your life.

If you feel anxiety is standing in the way of you leading the life you want to, call me on 847 791-7722 or via the email form below.

Image by torbakhopper

So here’s what I recently heard. If you adopt a strong powerful pose like the ‘Wonder Woman’ stance above, it can actually change your brain and cortisol levels and increase your confidence and reduce stress! Really? Where’s the evidence?

Actually, there is lots of evidence to back this claim up. I went to see Ann Cuddy talk about her new book called Presence – Bringing Your Boldest Self To Your Biggest Challenges and I have to say it was one of the most informative talks I have seen for a long time. If you haven’t heard of Ann, she is a Harvard Business school professor whose 2012 Ted Talk entitled “Your body language shapes who you are” was an internet sensation with over 30 million views. I think it was so popular because, in a very engaging way, she gave us some quick and simple strategies to feel more confident in difficult situations.

Her most well-known pose is dubbed “Wonder Woman” modeled above. She suggests that before a stressful meeting (such as an interview) you stand in the bathroom, hands on hips, feet apart and chin up for two minutes. Smile at yourself in the bathroom mirror and tell yourself you’re great. Her research showed again and again that when people adopt an expansive confident stance they actually performed better in their interview.

So why would that work? She talked about how by adopting a positive and strong body pose actually subconsciously changes the brain give us a message that we are a confident person. It also reduces cortisol levels (the stress hormone) and so reduces stress levels.

Yes, body language tells others the way you feel about yourself but it also shapes the way you feel about yourself. Look confident = Feel confident!

I don’t think we need to limit ourselves to doing this just in job interviews. Think of any difficult situation. Perhaps you have to have a conversation with a loved one that you think is going to be tricky or make a phone call when you hate talking on the phone. Subsequent studies have shown that this works in all sorts of situations, not just highly stressful ones. Give it a try, I have and it does really work.

Cuddy talks a lot about adopting an ‘expansive stance’, she means let your body take up space. Be seen! In general, men, more than women, tend to take up space whereas women cross their arms, fold inwards and take up less space. By sitting up straight, widening your arms, you are drawing attention to yourself. This is okay! Be strong and be wide and be seen as confident and more knowledgeable.

So one of my takeaways from Ann’s presentation was that it is useful to sit tall and confidently in everyday interactions and your general demeanor will automatically become more confident. People will probably treat you differently too. It’s a positive cycle!

I have to mention that when she was talking about how body language affects the way we feel and are perceived by others everyone in the auditorium started sitting up a little straighter and unfolded their arms which made me smile.

One of the most fascinating parts of her talk last night was about the body language of depressed and anxious people. When depressed, people tend to hunch their shoulders over, arms tucked in to their bodies and chin down. Just like we all are doing when we spend hours on our smart phones!

If our body language is influencing our brain and the way in which we think (as Ann’s research has shown) will we find that as we become more of a nation of smart phone users we will become more depressed?

She also discussed how when her teen is on his phone she can tell when whatever he is looking at is upsetting him because he folds more into himself (maybe he is not getting Likes on his social media post or someone in a group chat is being mean). When this happens she suggests putting down the phone and actively engaging in an activity or a real conversation (with her preferably) when he is willing.

So at the end of the presentation I of course bought her book. I haven’t read all of it yet but it expands on all of these ideas and more and I strongly suggest it as a good read.

I will be sharing these techniques when working with my clients to help them feel more confident. During therapy sessions I use cognitive behavioral therapy which helps people identify the thoughts they have that are contributing to negative feelings. If we think we are no good at something, we hold back, look and feel less confident about it. A self-fulfilling prophecy really.

Two people can experience a similar experience, but the way they think about it affects their emotions and of course their body language. Isn’t it wonderfully simple to put the positive body language first and then have the thoughts and positive feelings follow. I’m not saying it is the only way to improve self-esteem and confidence but even if it helps just a bit it’s worth a try isn’t it!

 

About the blog author:

Dr. Sarah Allen is an experienced psychologist recognized by clients, peers and other professionals for her ability to quickly help people get “unstuck” and move forward in their lives.

Dr. Allen sees clients in her

Northbrook office

Or if you are not able to come in to her office she can provide

telephone or online counseling

to make therapy more convenient for you.

If you have any questions after reading this article or want to know more about treatment, please contact Sarah at 847 791-7722 or on the form below

Here’s a link to Ann’s Ted Talk if you would like to watch it “Your body language shapes who you are”.