Women’s Issues

 Why is it important to look after yourself? Well, who gives their best to anything when they are tired, overwhelmed and cranky?

I think as mothers, we expect ourselves to be putting others’ needs first. That’s what mothers do, right? Yes, that’s what a lot of us do but after having three children I realize I am a better mom when I make a little time for myself and connect to things that make me relaxed and happy. It is not being selfish. It is being kind to yourself.

When I meet new moms and say this to them  I am often met with “how am I supposed to fit that in?”. If you don’t plan it and make it a priority, it won’t happen. Stop believing you have to do everything and take a little time where and whenever you can. When you are less depleted you can get more done in the end.

Tips for Stressed Moms

Below is a list of 33 things a stressed mom can do and say to look after herself. Keep in mind that you may not feel able to do many of the things listed here all at once. The most important thing is to do what you are able, no more, no less. Take small steps, try not to be too hard on yourself and take one day at a time.

1. Do not expect too much from yourself right now.
2. Take short breaks from the baby.
3. Go for a short walk.
4. Avoid strict or rigid schedules.
5. Avoid caffeine and alcohol.
6. Avoid overdoing anything.
7. Get out of the house.
8. Set small goals for yourself.
9. Rest when your baby naps or if your child is older, take time for yourself when they are at preschool/school. Don’t just do errands.
10. Eat healthily every 3 -4 hours to keep your blood sugar levels(and therefore mood) even.
11. Screen phone calls.
12. Set limits with your guests.
13. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
14. Delegate household duties.
15. Let others know what they can do to help.
16. Let your partner/family/friends know how you are feeling.
17. Be very specific about what you need from your partner.
18. Avoid people who make you feel bad and seek out those who make you feel good.
19. Set boundaries with people you can’t avoid.
20. Lose any expectations you have of yourself & others that can’t possibly be fulfilled.
21. Trust your instincts. You are doing many things right!
22. Expect some good days and some bad days.
23. Prioritize what needs to be done and what can wait.
24. Thank your partner/family/friends for helping you.
25. Don’t compare yourself to others.
26. Do not blame yourself.
27. Do the best you can. If it doesn’t feel like enough, it’s enough for now.
28. Encourage your partner to also seek support from friends and outside activities.
29. Give yourself permission to have negative feelings but also catch yourself doing something well or experiencing something positive rather than only dwelling on the negatives.
30. Confide in someone you trust.
31. Remind yourself that all adjustment takes time.
32. Don’t feel guilty, it wastes energy.

Lastly, remember take the time to nurture  yourself so you have the physical & emotional strength to take care of your family.

II have worked with hundreds of moms in the last 20 years and know it is not always easy to put yourself first. I have two free booklets that are full of information which will be useful to you.

A Guide To Pregnancy & Postpartum Stress, Anxiety & Depression has more information about symptoms, risk factors, how to look after yourself and treatment options.

To get your FREE copy of the booklet click the link below

Guide To Pregnancy & Postpartum Stress, Anxiety & Depression

 

 

 

Simple Steps To Overcoming Anxiety & Worrying can be downloaded below and is full of practical tips and exercises to get anxiety more under control.

To get your FREE copy of the booklet click the link below

Get Simple Steps To Overcome Anxiety & Worrying

 

 
 
 
 

I see clients in my Northbrook office or for your convenience, via telephone or internet sessions

If you have any questions after reading this article or want to know more about anxiety treatment

please contact me at 847 791-7722 or

email me below

Images by WoodleyWonderworks, Grant MacDonald & Tambako The Jaguar

Anxiety, worry and stress are a part of everyday life. It can be helpful in spurring us on in to action, for example when we worry about a test, we study, or warn us that a difficult situation is ahead so we can prepare for it.

Anxiety becomes a disorder though when the symptoms become chronic and interfere with our daily lives and our ability to function the way we want to.

Anxiety is the number one problem that people come to see me about and about 18% of adults and 8% of teens experience symptoms that interfere with their life and happiness. Many do not reach out for help and continue to struggle on and feel less than satisfied with the way their life is. This is such a shame because anxiety is very treatable.

Everyone’s experience is different but here is a list of common emotional and physical symptoms that people who feel anxious report:

• I know that I worry much more than I should
• I have trouble controlling constant worries
• I am not able to relax
• I have a hard time concentrating
• I have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep
• I feel tired all the time
• I have headaches, muscle aches, stomach aches, or unexplained pains
• I am irritable and have mood swings

Although Symptoms are Similar, There are Different Types of Anxiety

It is important to get the bottom of exactly what is going on so treatment can be geared to what you need. If you’ve struggled with worry and fears for a long time, it is very likely that you are experiencing Generalized Anxiety Disorder. But what if your symptoms are relatively short-term? Some medical conditions and/or medications can actually cause anxiety or perhaps you have recently experienced a traumatic event or situation?

Although symptoms are similar, there are different types of anxiety. Which sounds most like your experience?

Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) This is the most common form of anxiety and is when people have excessive anxiety and worry which occurs more days than not. In addition, symptoms of restlessness, fatigue, concentration problems, irritability, muscle tension and sleep disturbance may be present. Someone experiencing GAD finds it really difficult to control or regulate their worry.

Panic Disorder A panic attack is an intense fear or discomfort accompanied by physical symptoms such as sweating, trembling and chest pain. People’s thoughts are usually about fear of losing control and/or dying. A panic attack can happen with any of the anxiety disorders, but panic disorder itself is characterized by recurrent, unexpected panic attacks and persistent concerns about having additional panic attacks.

Social Phobia This is where people worry about social situations and have a fear of being seen negatively by others. This often leads to people avoiding social situations or if they have to go there is a lot of worry beforehand and often rumination about it afterwards.

Specific Phobia This is when anxiety is a persistent and excessive fear about an anticipated or actual encounter with a specific object or situation e.g. spiders. A phobic person often organizes their life around avoiding it.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) A person with OCD has obsessions (which are persistent thoughts, images or impulses) and compulsions (which are behaviors done to reduce their anxiety). Having OCD is time-consuming and can really impact life activities. People with OCD recognize that their worries and compensating behaviors are excessive but cannot stop for fear of what will happen if they don’t do them. The most frequent compulsions involve washing and cleaning, counting, seeking assurances, checking and/or repeating actions.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) The anxiety in Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is clearly associated with a traumatic event that the person experienced or witnessed and involved intense fear, horror or helplessness. In addition, there are recurrent, intrusive recollections of the events which are anxiety-provoking and distressing to the person. There may be avoidance of any situations associated with the original trauma and other anxiety-related symptoms such as hyper-vigilance or exaggerated startle response.

Pregnancy & Postpartum Anxiety  This is when symptoms occur during pregnancy or up to a year after having a baby. Approximately 6% of pregnant women and 10% of postpartum women develop anxiety, sometimes alone, and sometimes in addition to depression.

All types of anxiety have two things in common. Firstly, it feels absolutely horrible to when you experience anxiety and your quality of life is really effected. Secondly, and very importantly, treatment can be very effective.

Through proven, research-based therapy methods and my 20 years of experience, I can quickly get to the root of the problem. Using a compassionate, problem-solving approach to identify and treat the issues that are causing you to feel overwhelmed and stressed, we work together to help you worry less and enjoy life more.

I put together a booklet with some strategies I am always giving to my clients to help them begin to feel less anxiety and to worry less.

I hope that you will find it helpful too.

Add your first name and email address in the box below and you will be sent the steps to download your FREE book.

Please let me know if  you have any questions after reading the booklet. Also, if you would like to read more, I have several blog posts on my blog about anxiety and other issues that can affect the way you feel.

In a supportive environment with a therapist who has over 20 years experience you can learn how to reduce worrying by:

• Learning a variety of relaxation and breathing strategies which can help you reduce your overall levels of stress and help you face anxiety-provoking situations.
• Learning how to distinguish between worries that require your attention and worries that are unnecessary.
• Learning skills to manage anxious thoughts and to tackle fears that may have been holding you back.While all your worries won’t disappear, you will be given strategies to manage them better and tools to reduce the impact they have on your life.

If you feel anxiety is standing in the way of you leading the life you want to, call me on 847 791-7722 or via the email form below.

Image by torbakhopper