Many couples I see come in to my office with a long list of what is wrong with their relationship, how they can’t communicate anymore and mostly, seeking an opinion about who was right in the last argument. When I delve deeper into arguments it usually comes down to how hard everyone is striving: at work, with errands and chores, up in the night with the baby, running the kids around and trying to get EVERYTHING done. Driving oneself, or each other, so hard is stressful. While I do of course try to teach people how to communicate their wants and feelings and give techniques to problem solve disagreements, underneath it all it usually comes down to the fact that we are so busy doing things that we forget to have fun in life!
Yes, the mess is piling up and everyone needs to get fed but if you stop, even for a short time, you fill yourself up. I often say that we should think of ourselves as a car. If we keep going and going without stopping to fill up, eventually we come to a grinding halt. How do you fill up? To me that means sit down, really engage with the people you are with, laugh. So have a think about what you used to do with your partner that you always enjoyed. Dancing? Going bowling? Laughing at a re-run of a favorite show? It doesn’t have to be complicated to organize. Put on a couple of songs and turn up the volume and get everyone dancing around the house. What makes your kids giggle? Go and join them and you’ll probably start giggling too. Having fun with each other means you have a deeper reserve to draw upon when your partner does something to irritate you.
Relationships can be improved by an occasional tune-up. You don’t need to wait for a crisis to come in and talk about ways to improve your relationship through couples counseling.
If you would like to learn ways to communicate better and improve your relationships please contact me with any questions or to set up an appointment at 847 791-7722 or on the form below.
If you would like to read more about me and my areas of specialty, please visit Dr. Sarah Allen Bio. Dr. Allen’s professional license only allows her to work with clients who live in IL & FL & the UK and unfortunately does not allow her to give personalized advice via email to people who are not her clients.
Dr. Allen sees clients in person in her Northbrook, IL office or remotely via video or phone.
Do you need help improving your communication skills? Download now “Simple Steps To Improve Communication”
Are you looking to enhance your ability to communicate effectively? Whether it’s in your personal relationships, professional endeavors, or everyday interactions, mastering communication is key. Download my booklet “Simple Steps to Improve Communication” now to discover practical strategies and techniques that will empower you to express yourself with clarity and confidence.
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